How Many Activities?
I’ve been talking ("and talking and talking,” some readers will say) about an article by William Doherty, of the University of Minnesota, with the provocative title See How They Run. His theme is that “… for many kids, childhood is becoming a rat race of hyperscheduling, overbusyness, and loss of family time.”
I’ve also said that I think the question is important to Grow With the Flow readers, because I suspect that there are potentially negative cognitive consequences when too much of a child’s time is structured and shaped by adults and adult agendas.
Professor Doherty notes that one of the issues is that there is a prodigious number of activities available to the average kid today. If we, as parents, feel the need to provide every opportunity to our child, the plethora of activities may rob that child of the important cognitive opportunities that grow from self management and independence.
Play a game for me, suggested by the article?
Do some research. Check newspapers, school counselor, friends, bulletin boards, etc., and estimate how many different structured activities your child could join. Before- during- and after-school clubs or programs, city classes and recreation opportunities, athletic or other ongoing programs sponsored by independent organizations, commercial programs to advance any number of goals or skills, church organizations or civic-minded groups: In one grand total, how many opportunities are there?
If you take the time to do the research, take a moment more and add a comment to this article, with your results. (Mention your child’s age, since that may be relevant to the number of activities.)
How many were there when you were a kid? How many can your child possibly do? How do you balance all these great opportunities with research that says our kids are better off eating with their family, hanging out in the back yard, making their own activities? And do you agree? (I’ve heard counters to this argument that say the activites have become a place for families to come together, not be pulled apart.)
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When I think back on activities when I was a kid, they mostly consisted of going outside and seeing who was there, and if anyone doing anything interesting. We rollerskated around the neighborhood, played jacks, jumped rope, and later, flirted with the neighborhood boys. The rest of the time, we were home, or at somebody else’s house, watching American Bandstand on TV. The only organized activity I can remember was girlscouts, which I personally found boring. My kids, on the other hand, were involved in soccer, karate, and drama, as well as religious school. They couldn’t go outside to play because no other kids were outside playing in the street. The other kids were ostensibly at their own organized activities. I think one of the unintended consequences of organized activities for children, in addition to the decline of family time, has been the decline of the “neighborhood” which was often informally organized around parents keeping an eye on all the neighborhood kids who were playing outside after school. From what I hear, listening to young parents today, the organized sports phenomenon has reached a frenzied level of competition. One sport season follows the next. Personally, I think we had alot more fun.
The number of activities is outrageous, the time it takes to get them there, the money it costs to outfit them for each activity. I grew up on a farm and was never without anything to do. I remember jumping across haystacks, having mud fights, always being outside. We were so creative, our imaginations ran wild, we were inventors, story tellers, play writers. Today in my classroom I see children who don’t even know how to play. When things are organized all of the time, sports, clubs, drama, etc, etc, etc. children don’t have to use their imaginations to create things to do. It is all right there and they don’t get bored as long as their parents continue to enroll them in all of the events. Parents seem to have lost the ability or desire to sit down and play with their children. Teach them how to pretend, role play, play board games, read books together. Time seems to keep getting shorter. Parents must teach their children what is important and when they continue to enroll them in activities that consume their time, there is little time left for the initmate moments with family that I remember as a child. There is no time to sit down at the dinner table and talk about the day because soccer practice begins at 5:30 and mom and dad don’t get off until 5:00. My husband and I have taken a different road. Our children are not involved in all there is to do, they still know how to create their own fun outside, pretend with each other, play board games, read books and enjoy breakfast and supper as a family. We want to teach them that quality family time is important. Yes, our 5 year old played soccer, so we are not making them miss out, but he played for 6 weeks, now he will take a break for at least 6 weeks. He can choose what he wants to do and will never be forced to participate in the activities. His interests will lead his involvement, not our interests. If parents forget how to play, imagine, create, invent their children will never learn.
As a private music teacher, I hear a lot about my students’ busy schedules. Some of them have multiple activities each week, sometimes several in a day. I am amazed at their flurry of activity and wonder how they do it. I had a student several years ago who never had time to practice (or to have free time at all) because he was involved in soccer and karate as well as taking saxophone lessons on top of his violin lessons. He was also in a special school for gifted students and had lots of homework. I was not surprised when he and his parents decided to drop the violin lessons. I felt bad that he was stopping violin, but if it allowed him a little bit of breathing room in his hectic overachieving schedule I’m sure it was worth it. I am a strong supporter of the “less is more” philosophy!