I recently posted a review of an article that appeared in the September / October, 2003, issue of Psychotherapy Networker. The article, by William Doherty of the University of Minnesota, is called See How They Run. In it, he argues that the pressures on kid’s time, and the increasingly structured nature of childhood activities, is working against families, and against the children the activities are supposed to benefit.

I’d like to take Professor Doherty’s theme for a jaunt in the cognitive direction that is the focus of Grow With the flow. As you know if you’ve looked at my book, I believe that fun is at the core of effective learning, and that parental fear for their children can backfire. In the introductory chapter, I say:

Every word here is meant to calm a fear, almost a panic, that has come to pervade the way our culture thinks about children. We seem to be taking childhood awfully seriously as we step into the new millennium. We hear that our children will have to fight and claw their way into the world if they expect to do more than survive. Even when we try not to listen, the messages of ruthless competition, dwindling opportunity, increasing demands — the threat to these people we love so much — chews on us. It makes us fearful. It can even corrode our common sense and our natural instincts. Our children have to be prepared! Every minute is important! Every homework assignment has to be finished!

Wanting to prepare our kids for the worst, we are, paradoxically, in danger of giving them a taste of it. Real intelligence, I constantly argue, is built on a base of enjoyment. Learning is what humans do best. It is our natural state. When we try to force the process, we are in danger of thwarting our own good intentions.

Now, juxtapose that sentiment against this research result described in “See How They Run":

Studies have shown the importance of regular family dinners, one of the chief casualties of hyperscheduling. ….. The University of Michigan study of children’s time found that more meal time at home was the single strongest predictor of better achievement scores and fewer behavioral problems. Mealtime was far more powerful than time spent in school, studying, going to church, playing sports, or doing art activities. Results held across all types of families and all income levels.

Should you read that again? Would you agree that increasing achievement and reducing behavioral problems are common parent goals? Would you agree that you sometimes feel pressure to support those goals by making sure your kids have lots of worthwhile activities to do after school, or by being absolutely sure they get adequate study time and homework time into their evenings? If those are your goals, and if afternoon sports programs, or study time, regularly keep your family from breaking bread together, you may be shooting yourself in the foot. That research says (stretching it a bit, I suppose): “You want better grades, better behavior? Forget the soccer game – go home and have dinner with your kids. Cut their study time in half so you can sit and talk.” (Hey! You could write a note for your child to take to school: “My parent ate my homework.").

I don’t know what Professor Doherty would think of my extension of his argument for more family time, and I don’t know of any research to justify this, but permit me to speculate?

Would you agree that these are critical skills for our children?

• Develop better ability to devise, plan and execute a course of action.
• Develop independence – and independent learners, who can imagine and pursue their own plans and path.
• Empower children, so they feel confident that they can manage.
• Develop creativity.
• Develop effective problem solving. (How many times have you seen that one advanced as a critical goal in the last year?)
• Develop effective problem finding – the ability to know a problem when you see it.
• Develop an ability to work cooperatively in groups.
• Develop responsible, self-motivating children.

Now, look over that list again. For each item, ask yourself: Is my child more likely to develop these abilities in activities structured by adults, or spontaneously, in the company of other kids?

I agree completely with Professor Doherty’s concern that the frantic, overcommitted, no-time-for-dinner way many kids are living is destructive of families and of the parent-child communication that matters so much. But I suspect in addition that by scheduling, guiding, driving, prioritizing, problem solving, and deciding so much of our kid’s “free” time, we are also depriving them of the opportunity and necessity of learning skills they’re gong to need to meet their own real-world goals.

(I’m not even mentioning the sleep deprivation that often results from overactivity, and what it does to cognitive functioning. I’ll get back to that one!)

For an earlier rant on the same general topic, see Labor Day to Memorial Day.

And, of course, Doonesbury had the definitive word on overactivity.